In the past few weeks I have come in contact with some ladies and looked as things were starting to pick up for me... getting some dating in and maybe finding the "one." I just recently received another "thanx but no thanx" emails... which doesn't bother me anymore... I've gotten a bunch of them and it's useless to even dwell on it. Plus, it was only one date. She was a good looking woman and someone I could have probably gotten really into... first impressions, I was awestruck. But... time to move on, or as my good friend Nikki tells me... "NEXT!!!"
One thing I've learned from dating is learning more about me. Learning what I'm really looking for, what I really want and sometimes that can be quite scary. You figure you find what your looking for and yet, you keep wondering... is what I HAD what I wanted all along? It's really hard to say, because... and it's all happened to us, we get desperate for the physical part of the relationship and if it was good at first and died.... we fall back into that trap... but we talk our selves into "well, maybe things have changed... times are different, grown up..." whatever the reason is... but we talk ourselves into thinking like this. But sometimes it works... and works well, but I've honestly never really considered that to be a possibility. "If you love and let go, it will come back..." only in poetry and TV. Do I sound jaded???
I sat with a really good friend of mine today talking about the world and how things are and got on the topic of dating. The topic of "stop looking, and it'll fall into place." It has worked for some of my friends, but I mean... if you stop "looking" then aren't you in all respects not trying anymore? And how are you supposed to know when you don't even try? I've tried this aspect of dating and I just can't do it. I did take a month or two off from trying but I was still searching... So in actual fact... I just slowed down my search...
Dating is taking its toll on me... for real. I'm really getting tired of looking, trying to find that "one," trying to find what I want and who I want it with. Ideally, I'd like to come home tomorrow after work and find the woman of my dreams standing at my front door asking for directions or something and just happen to fall in love, happily ever after. Well, I know that will never happen, and I know that I'll never stop looking. Even though I'm tired of looking, I'm still going to. Why? It's because it's what I have to do... Just can't fall off a horse and not get back on again... You gotta search through the chaff to find the wheat (yea, I've used that once before, but I liked the analogy so I'm using it again). *Sigh*...
~Chris
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2 comments:
Thank you for acknowledge exactly my problem with the advice "if you stop looking you'll find somebody." That's the most passive fucking approach to meeting people I can possible imagine. It's fine if you're a dreamer or a fatalist, but it's just not practical. If I stopped looking for my lost keys, would I find them? Of course not. Applying that same principle to dating is retarded.
Keep at it man. Then when you've got it all figured out you can explain it to me. :-)
The only way I can see "not looking" would work is if you had a HUGE social structure to feed off of and noticing someone you haven't noticed before... using your keys as an example... a giant bowl of keys, just fingering through it and finding them...
My advice that I can come up with man, refine your search... meaning... what do you REALLY want in a relationship... and go from there...
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